Monday, December 9, 2013

My Tattoo

A while ago I got a tattoo :)
I had contemplated one for a long time but could never think of something I wanted to have on my body for the rest of my life. However, going through the process of separation and divorce I found myself clinging to a verse from 1 Corinthians about love.

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." - 1 Corinthians 13:7

I know, I know, 1 Corinthians 13 is usually used in wedding ceremonies. At first I read this as I should never give up on my marriage and I should always stay hopeful, but the more I read it I started to realize that God is the one whose love never gives up or loses faith. Even though the man who promised to love me forever changed his mind, God will never do the same!

This became hugely symbolic for me as I was struggling with the idea of taking my wedding ring off. As something I had worn for so long, it was a comfort to me, a sense of security, and a reminder of all the good times in our marriage. Taking my ring off was scary and so painful. I wanted my tattoo to be a new reminder of God's love, the man who will never leave me. And so, I modified a tattoo I had seen online of an infinity symbol with the word love to have the L become a cross.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

My Anthem

One of the things that really resonated with me throughout this whole situation was the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United. The song is about God calling you out into a scary, unknown place where you can learn to truly trust in Him. Obviously it makes sense why I love the song :)

The line about keeping my eyes above the waves was one I repeated to myself over and over. If I could just remind myself that God is so much bigger than what I was going through at that moment and focus on Him instead it really helped!

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Saturday, September 28, 2013

My Year

So its literally been a year since I last posted and it has been an intense year to say the least! Honestly it feels like its been even longer. This past year has probably been the toughest of my life but the whole thing has been an incredible growth experience and I am so excited to see where God is taking me.

For those of you who don't know, my husband of almost 9 years decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. Its so much more complicated but that's all I feel like diving into for now. John broke the news in January and moved out in March.

It was a long road to pick myself up off the floor and get to where I am now and I know I'm not done traveling, but I'm kind of proud of myself! Not to say I did it alone, I absolutely could not have survived this without God and my amazing family and friends. This has been such a learning experience in so many ways and one of them was me learning to lean on others.

I feel blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people. My 31st birthday was in August and its so strange but I really feel like I turned a corner and am coming into my own. My new mantra is "31 is going to be a good year"!